Are you a Dead Machine?

Are you a Dead Machine?

Do you think other people are responsible for your happiness? Do find yourself saying if only she or he would change I would be happy? How much time do you spend hoping and waiting for others to change to meet your picture of what you want? This is the importance of sharing the pictures we have in our head…the things we want in our future, how we will parent children, our values around money, etc. Sometimes I see people who say “if only” he would change, she would change” or why can’t they be more like me? When you spend…
Happiness vs Pleasure

Happiness vs Pleasure

This quote is so true. If we are unable to meet our needs with the significant people in our lives, often we switch to pleasure seeking behaviour. That pleasure seeking behaviour often involves drugs, alcohol, and sex and other addictive behaviour. In my experience working with youth many years ago, when I discovered they were using drugs and alcohol to feel better, I would ask them if they had given up on people. Would you believe that 95% of the time the answer was yes.   The story was often that no one cares about me. My parents are always…
If you do this!

If you do this!

  Coercion is all around us all the time, and so is resistance. To coerce is to attempt to persuade someone to do something through force  or threats. " Clean your room or I will take your cell phone away from you" for example. " If you can't get here on time, I will cut your pay!" Seems innocent enough. Right? The question is does it help or hurt our relationships? What would happen if there was a different conversation to be had?  Would you like to find a way to reduce resistance and learn how to get more of…