Judge Not Want Not
This is a lesson I learned early on in learning the ideas of Dr. William Glasser. You see at that time I was making judgments all the time. As a nurse, I was taught to judge. Judge the condition of my patients, judge the work of others, judge the right amount of medicine to give, etc.
I believe we make judgments, minute by minute daily. Without being able to judge, we would not survive
So what is judgment? According to the Oxford Dictionary
The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions:
an error of judgment
An opinion or conclusion:
they make subjective judgments about children’sskills
Criticize or condemn someone from a position of assumed moral superiority:
we’re here to help, not to pass judgment
It is the last statement that is so important. Have you ever judged someone only to find out that you really missed the mark. The beauty of the Procedures that Lead to Change (Reality Therapy) is that we learn to communicate with people, without judgment. How often have we heard people say things like “ you’ll never amount to anything” or “ you can’t possibly do that” ?
I have learned that the more open I can be and the less I judge others, the happier I will be. Recently, I attended a seminar on diversity. The speaker spoke about the workplace and how we interact with our co-workers. How we never know where the worker is coming from. For example, when someone gives an answer to an issue, they are always coming from their frame of reference. None of us have the same experiences in life and if we judge an individual by what they do and say without going deeper, we may miss a gem.
Let’s look at the definition “an opinion or conclusion”. This is probably why we are in so much trouble in our relationships. We base our opinions on what we have learned and on our own experiences. How often as teachers/parents do we judge our students capabilities, but if we could use more open ended questions and guide the child we have no idea really what they are capable of.
All I want to say is choose to live a life with less judgment of others and see what happens. Be consciously aware when you are judging others and determine if it is accurate. The less you judge the happier you will be guaranteed. As my father could be heard saying almost daily “ judge not want not”
