Most problems are relationships problems. Have you noticed this? Stop for a minute and think about the times in your life when you have been most upset. What was the situation? What was the thing you were most upset about? Was it something you had control over?
What people were involved? Was it someone close to you or not so close? Was it an important relationship in your life? What behavior did you choose to deal with the issue? Maybe there was not another person involved but maybe the relationship was with yourself and the self-talk you were delivering to you!
In nearly all cases there is a relationship issue somewhere and in a lot of cases it is because we want someone to do something they do not want to do or maybe they want us to do something we do not want to do or just maybe we both want each other to do something that neither of us wants to do. Sometimes we are forcing ourselves to do something mainly to please someone else!
These are the four areas of most relationship problems. If there is one thing I have learned, it is important to look at those areas that affect you directly and find a way to communicate what you want so it does not affect the relationship, which is what you have between you.
Some people in relationships are just destructive or toxic and we will need to discriminate between the two. We will need to ask if this person adds to or takes away from what we have between us, the relationship. Sometimes it is in the best interest of you and the relationship to just let the toxic person go.
This is something that we discuss in our training and there are tools for dealing with such issues. We learn the communication process that helps us get more of what we need and want. Consider joining us May 2,3,4 for in person training in Riverview, New Brunswick. www.choicetheorytraining.com
Can’t come to Riverview? Then you can join us online starting April 6, 2018 www.choicetheoryonline.com
Yours in growing awareness
Maureen
