Adapting to Loss of Control

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With every life experience comes new opportunities to learn. Yes, I am afraid you will be hearing about my pending hip surgery and the lessons I am learning.  Right now, I am managing to get around our house with a walker. I was doing it with a cane and having a lot of pain with every movement.  A friend offers the loan of a walker and I take the load of the bad hip and I am doing better. This will hold me through to the surgery and after for a couple of weeks.

During this time there is definitely challenges with loss of control. For instance, last week I thought I could drive myself to my hairdresser. The parking is close, and I could make it. I did do it but getting into the car on the driver’s side versus getting in the passenger’s side makes a big difference.  More pain when I have to bring the bad one in last. I realized that I am needing to let myself be driven around.

Oh, and yes, I have to use a wheelchair in the hospital when I go for tests. First time ever in a wheelchair. A lot of changes for me in a relatively short period of time.  My first inclination is to get upset and all bent out of shape because I have to depend on someone else. This is a big lesson for me. It is ok to ask for help and to let others do for you!

I am also realizing how “picky” I am for the little things…like doing the wash! I usually fold my clothes directly out of the dryer but since I have three steps to go down to the laundry area, I let Doug do it for me. Grabs the clothes puts them in a basket and brings them to me. Better than not having clean clothes right? Another thing is doing the dishes after a meal or when the dish washer finishes.  I really like to get the dishes done right away but when that can’t happen, I am avoiding the kitchen! So, what if it is not done my way!  It gets done.  And then there are the bits on the floor that need a sweep; they are not going anywhere. Until I slowed down and had no choice, I did not realize how picky I actually am. Dr. William Glasser told me along time ago. Pick your battles. Ask yourself, what is most important, these little things that seem big or your relationship?

I am learning to adapt my pictures of how I want things to be. I do not want to wear out my person! So, what if it is not done the way I do it!  I have a choice, accept the help and be grateful or make demands and be miserable.  It is not about whether I can control it or not, it is about how I manage my loss of control in these situations. I have options and I always have personal control of how I choose to handle my life.

I have a new appreciation for my life and all the people in it. I am grateful to have all the support around me that I do.  Stay tunes for more lessons through this journey with me.

Maureen has been teaching this ideas for over 35 years. She is a Senior Faculty Member with William Glasser International, A Licensed Counselling Therapist and Certified Personal and Executive Coach.