On November 6 I had hip replacement surgery. It has been quite a journey of healing and learning. First, I until this point, I had never had surgery and I may have had a couple of stitches once in my life when I cut my thumb by accident. When I found myself needing to depend more on my other half, it was quite a humbling experience. You see I worked very hard in my lifetime to be an independent person and taking responsibility for myself. I continued to do that but I still needed help.
I think the biggest thing for me was not being permitted to bend to put my socks on. It is only the last week, that I have been told to go ahead and put my own socks on! Wow, what a relief. My close friends asked me if I had a “sock aid” and I said “yes” and it has a name. He is called Doug. In hindsight it may have been better to have the aid but we did have a few moments where we laughed or Doug just became fed up with it all. Every morning, I had to have my feet dressed and every morning, I could not help myself from telling Doug just how to put them on my feet! After a couple of weeks, he looked at me and said: “ I think I know how to dress your feet by now!”. So for the next two days I literally bit my tongue. You would have seen me with my tongue between my teeth. On the third day, I just has to say something.
Little things like getting the toe of the sock on straight or the little lifts I wear under my toes actually staying under my toes. Sometimes we do things to automatically and routinely we don’t think about the process. I learned just how important having my feet dressed properly was for me to have a good day. Did you ever spend a day in your shoe with something rubbing the wrong way and not be able to change that?
After 8 weeks of dressing my feet for which I am grateful, Doug has been released from the saga of the socks. He was very patient and occasionally rolled his eyes, but we got through it. We both have learned over the years that we need to pick our battles, and this was not going to be one of them. After all it benefitted both of us for me to have happy feet!
I am so thank-full we are both trained in Reality Therapy and Choice Theory and we understand our individual roles in our relationship. Would you like to learn more about meeting your needs in your relationships, whether it is a spouse, a friend or a child? This is an area we specialize in during our training, how to get more of what you need without infringing on the rights and needs of others. Consider joining us for our next training starting February 3, 2020.
Sign up here: www.choicetheorytraining.com
