“ I am having a really bad day! The boss is upset and is all over me for some stupid thing I did and if you had not been in such a terrible mood this morning, it would not have been so bad!” End of Text!
Reply: “ Thanks a lot! Now I am having a bad day, no thanks to you!!” End of text
What is wrong with this picture? Many things can be read into it but here is the bottom line. Before cell phones were invented, we might have had an actual conversation about what was happening but it would have been at the end of the working day once you both have returned home.
Now, everything happens in real time. The issue with this is that not only is the person writing it having a bad day but so now is the person receiving it and what follows is a flurry of texts that basically are using the deadly habits and causing a feud to escalate into a series of texts that basically are taking both people away from their tasks for the day at work.
This would not have happened prior to the cell phone. In general, people would have a conversation at the end of the day and try to work things out. Now with what I call “ the third voice” in the conversation the battle escalates all day long building more and more resentment.
What is the number one killer of relationships? Unresolved resentments! Couples need to make some rules around the engagement they are going to have through the regular workday.
What is “ the third voice “ bringing to your relationships? How do you interpret your third voice? You see: it is impossible to interpret the written word as it is intended. We can only receive it as we perceive it and attach our meaning to it. What will you do with those texts? Do you have a management plan?
Yours in growing awareness
Maureen
